Saturday, 16 February 2013

Don't Do It - #BlackFriday & Why do our heroes fail us?

It's been an interesting week; things can change drastically from one week to the next either for the good or the bad and our choices determine everything, so think about your choices.

Valentines is all about choices, we can decide whether we are going to make the day special for the one we love or if it is just going to be like every other day in our lives. Which is fine if you are normally very loving to your partner, but if you not it may give you a good excuse to start.

On the thought of attention I remember hearing a story, about a group of men at a men's camp and the facilitator suggested that every man sends an SMS to their partners telling them how much they loved their partners. Well the reaction did not get the desired effect as some of the woman treated the message with suspicion by asking their partners, 'Who exactly was that message intended for?'

Our intention should always be clear before we decide to do something. That's the #BlackFriday message, it's very intention is to raise the awareness within men and other abusers and would be rapists to think about what you would do if you were faced with temptation or a possible situation - it's about thinking and having the emotional intelligence to think through problems before they happen. To decide how you would react, be proactive with your thinking and avoid having to be reactive to the consequences.

So this brings us to our heroes and why they fail us? I want to say at the outset that it boils down to EQ (Emotional Intelligence) and I am going to use our local hero, our golden boy Oscar and I want us to realize we all need to constantly check our reactions because we are not infalible. 

Here I am not talking about the potential premeditation of occurrences this week. I want to take you back to the 100m race at the Para-Olympics where Oscar came second, in my viewpoint Oscar had already won, he was a proud ambassador for South Africa and he was voted amongst Time magazines most influential. He was already a winner and he did not need to win the Para-Olympic race, sure it would of been great but it was not necessary. 

In preparation we often tell ourselves to focus on the goal, yet neglect to check how emotionally prepared we are for the outcome and that might not be the outcome we expected. The old saying goes 'Pride comes before a fall' and we must always remember that we need to be humble, after all it is never all about us - it is about the people we serve. Our fans and followers only expect us to be normal and authentic is what they are looking for.

Authentic is not about skill and how much or how little you have in a particular area, but how real you can be in any situation, that is what people admire and follow.

We fail as people is that we are quick to judge and say 'Look at how Oscar reacted at the Para-Olympics, he really did not do us proud' but instead we should look at Oscar at that moment and say let me help him get his thinking right as he is hurting, let me help him get over these hurts and recover and gain back his place in the hall of fame, but instead we selfishly gloat in the demise.

My thoughts are with all the families concerned and my wish is that you would experience a peace that passes all understanding and as we mourn the death of those we have lost to abuse, rape and crime - we should never forget that the true and authentic message behind #BlackFriday is that 'Hurt people - hurt people'